he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
third nipple confirmed
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
