party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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