I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize