Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
