My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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