Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
