i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
