they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
