I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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