If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
