Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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