if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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