New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
