Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
