it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
