What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
