Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
