Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
