Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
