Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
