it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
