can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize