There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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