question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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