i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
