he wants to bone in the snuggie
I cut my penus on the lid.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
