im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
