I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
