Small penises have feelings too.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Randomize
