you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
