it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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