and you said cock pushups were impossible
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
