..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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