lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
