and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
