I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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