But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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