we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
