About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
