he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
