Redeem this text for a blowjob
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
