How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I can text with my tongue
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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