I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
