What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
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