you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Then you guys just all showered together...?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
