New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
