IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
