So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
