She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
is wine microwaveable?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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