so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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