Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
