I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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