puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
