we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
