uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
