YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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