no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
