dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
