At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
