I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Holy shit dude........stairs
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
